Absurdly Admired Armchair

homunculus-argument:

Therapy is risky because sometimes they’ll just ask you their standard “why can’t you, though”, and you think you’re making some good point by saying something like “well if I don’t do anything with my life then what’s the point of being alive in the first place” and your therapist gets that look on their face and you immediately realise that your dumb ass just got caught, pinned to the ground with your stupid-ass neck between the spikes of a pitchfork, and you are not going to wiggle out of there before you two unpack what the fuck you just said.

ALT

(via aces-and-anime)

kyraneko:

naamahdarling:

intermittentlysmitten:

imgdesczone:

tharook:

wardoftheedgeloaves:

POWEROUS

I love this, because there’s obviously something very clever going on to analyse patterns of language, but it’s also profoundly ignorant.

[ID: A screenshot of a Grammarly correction, labelled “clarity: conciseness”. The original text reads “Every book, which wasn’t many…” This is crossed out with the suggestion “Everyn’t many book” and the note “Consider shortening this phrase.” /end id]

Story time: this reminds me of some kids in an English class I’m in. They were doing written work and the teacher and I were going around checking their work. They had to do like, “do/do not”, and one example was “prepare”. Something like “My father does not/doesn’t prepare dinner”. I look at this one kid’s paper and this galaxy-brained child had written “My father preparen’t dinner” and it took everything in me to not lose it laughing right there like. This child saw a pattern and ran with it and I respect that.

Intermittentlysmitten hid this in the tags and shouldn’t have.

Reminds me of that post on how Irish(?) doesn’t have a way to use “yes” or “no” to answer a verb question, or something like that, so that if somebody asks if you murdered somebody you can’t say “yes” or “no,” you have to say “I did murder” or “I didn’t murder,” which led my brain to produce the negative verb “murdidn’t.”

(via aces-and-anime)

catgirlwheels:

sic-semper-hominibus:

softness-and-shattering:

sic-semper-hominibus:

sic-semper-hominibus:

this is gonna sound like a shitpost but the best advice i have if youre consistently coming off wrong is to start talking like an elcor

you will feel like a dumdum at first, but once you get used to it youll realize that telling people what kind of thing you’re about to say ahead of time flattens their anxiety a huge amount

ive been starting every question with “question:” for awhile now and i almost never get people reading too much into what i mean anymore

it seems super dumb, but “what are your plans tomorrow?” gets people asking me what i have planned despite me obviously being in the process of figuring that out, whereas “question: what are your plans tomorrow?” gets me a quick rundown of their schedule, followed by “why?”

it also makes it really easy to work tone indicators into your verbal speech. if you’re always saying “question: [your question here]?” then no one blinks when you say “genuine question: [question that could read as sarcastic]?”

it also gets you out of your own way for any types of things you struggle to say. “can you make sure to do the dishes before you go to bed?” feels like an argument waiting to happen, but “request: can you make sure to do the dishes before you go to bed?” gets the words flowing on a neutral word while making it clear that you’re not looking for a fight

so yeah. suggestion: talk like an elcor

i said “suggestion for you if you havent thought of it:” today so im reblogging this

Useful addition: “this is not a guilt trip or moral judgement, just checking facts: have you done the dishes”.

Or “Just checking if I need to, have you done the dishes today”

Or “please do the dishes, Im not upset I just need a plate”.

Being clear about your intentions this way also heads off RSD or trauma-type anxiety, guilt, frustration, demand-avoidance, fear, etc.

Another phrasing useful for when you are emotional is “Im definitely frustrated, but Im not frustrated at you because I know you’re doing your best.”

Of course it only really works if you genuinely mean it.

you get me

Genuine delight: elcor my beloved

(via zeldahime)

aropride:

aropride:

mr brightside was released september 29, 2003

are you older than mr brightside

yes

i am the exact same age as mr brightside

no

(also by same age i mean born on the exact same day)

around 385,000 babies are born every day and there’s 8 billion people in the world meaning approximately 0.000048125% of people were born on september 29th 2003 . and 10 of those people have seen my tumblr poll with 141 notes

(via what-even-is-thiss)

kradeiz:

mysticsybil:

heckyeahponyscans:

The fact that “dolls having a tea party” has stuck around in the public consciousness is fascinating to me.

Like, back in the Old Days that would be a way that women would actually socialize.  So if a girl had a doll tea party, she was imitating her mom / other contemporary women.

But these days contemporary women don’t have tea parties. So now, the idea of “dolls having a tea party” is an echo of an extinct behavior, only repeated and referenced because it used to be so prevalent.

So a Barbie in a big hat themed for a tea party is a bit like if they made Transformers that turned into stagecoaches and horse-drawn buggies.

Like I wouldn’t buy the fuck out of stagecoach transformers

Prime and Prejudice

(via daughterofsarenrae)

podcastwizard:

the hot new trend is “guard posting”

(via daughterofsarenrae)

pika-memes:

(via autistic-velociraptor)

jbiupui:

themountainsays:

incensuous:

just saw someone post “it’s common knowledge ur not supposed to spam reblog from someone ur not mutuals with” …..?????????? am i confused??? IS that common knowledge???? i try not to spam if i can help it but i actually personally love seeing spam notifs lmao??? unless i dont know what spam reblog means

Reblog if you like it when people “spam reblog” from you or whenever that means at any time

I will never understand why a person/blog doesnt like getting likes/reblogs on the stuff they post. Makes no damn sense. 🚩

I love checking on my mutuals and spamming their shit 👌🏻

(via autistic-velociraptor)

djnusagi:

balert:

djnusagi:

can’t believe there’s straight guys walking around who think sex begins and ends at penetration and oral. they will never know the boundless eroticism of simple touch, they don’t even know about frotting, they will never know what it’s like to be spooning fully clothed with another woman and then she asks you to explain serial experiments lain and by the time you start explaining the knights she’s dry humping you harder than you’ve ever been fucked and she put you in a headlock and she just grows more and more in intensity like she’s become fully fucking feral and before you can even mention the psx game you’ve came twice in your one size too big black women’s high waisted skinny jeans from Walmart

ma'am this is a wendys

this is the gay transgendered fuck site and I am using it to talk about gay transgendered fucking

(via autistic-velociraptor)

vexwerewolf:

fuckdamn:

hozey-nevergoingtochurch:

maplebungus:

heartshapedbasil:

your man doesn’t have the mental strength to caramelize onions 

your man thinks it takes 5-10 minutes to caramelize onions

Who’s fucking carmelizing onions?

Have you sociopaths forgotten that apples exist?

do you think caramelizing onions is putting caramel on onions

your man thinks caramelizing onions is putting caramel on onions

(via autistic-velociraptor)